In the old church a mile from our house, beautiful stained glass windows depict the life of Christ and other biblical images.
One of my favorites is Jesus pulling a sinking Peter out of the water. I used to pray under that window often, as a reminder of the continual need for Our Lord to save me from myself and my sinfulness.
Keenly aware of my concupiscence and unworthiness, I sat far back from Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament at that time, continually turned inward on myself and preoccupied with my inability to approach Him.
“Don’t let your defects and imperfections nor even your more serious falls, take you away from God. A weak child, if he is wise, tries to keep near his Father,” said St. Josemaria Escriva in The Way (#880).
Over time, I crept closer to Our Lord, seeking to talk with Him openly and becoming aware of a growing love for Him despite my unworthiness. Yearning to crawl up to Him and throw myself at His feet like a child, I have been spending more and more time as close to the sanctuary as possible.
A spreading glow
There, up front, the stained glass window that catches my eye these days is a large one depicting Jesus embracing the little children.
Last week, on a cold and dreary day, that window was shrouded in shadow — until a shaft of sunlight hit Jesus’ halo and caused His whole face to glow.
My breath stopped as I watched the glow spread slowly from Jesus’ face to His body and then to the children in shadow surrounding Him.
Eventually, on that cold and cloudy day, each child in that window glowed with the brilliant light that shone through Jesus first.
Approach like a child
I thanked Our Lord for the metaphor and the simple realization that the only way to approach Him is as a small child, emerging from the shadows, who forgets himself and runs to Him out of nothing but sheer love.
Then the light of Our Lord can shine through, when we lose ourselves not in the misery of our unworthiness but in the overwhelming love for Our Lord. And there, simple as a child, you may find yourself weeping.
“Sorrow of love — because He is good; because He is your friend, who gave His life for you; because everything good you have is His, because you have offended Him so much, . . . because He has forgiven you. He! Forgiven you! Weep, my son, with sorrow of love,” said St. Josemaria Escriva in The Way (#437).
“Don’t forget that sorrow is the touchstone of Love” (#439).
This Lent, strive to run to Our Lord with abandon, with the love and simplicity of a child.
It’s a message with which Our Lord yearns to pull each of us out of ourselves — and out of the shadows — toward salvation.
Julianne Nornberg, mother of four children, is a teacher’s aide at St. John the Baptist Catholic School in Waunakee.