Category: Grand Mom

I went on a guilt trip the other day. The store was only 20 miles away, and my partner in crime was a daughter-in-law with a flair for decorating.

I had been grumbling about my lower back pain whenever I sat for awhile in Bob’s chair or Bob’s sofa in my living room. (And these days sitting is my favorite activity.) Even though Bob had never lived in our condo, the furniture had been selected with his weekend visits in mind.

It’s been more than a year since he was in our house and six months since he moved into his heavenly splendor. I thought it was time to take care of my back.

I went on a guilt trip the other day. The store was only 20 miles away, and my partner in crime was a daughter-in-law with a flair for decorating.

I had been grumbling about my lower back pain whenever I sat for awhile in Bob’s chair or Bob’s sofa in my living room. (And these days sitting is my favorite activity.) Even though Bob had never lived in our condo, the furniture had been selected with his weekend visits in mind.

It’s been more than a year since he was in our house and six months since he moved into his heavenly splendor. I thought it was time to take care of my back.

If you have ever experienced your children at play and shuddered when their speech sounds like a close imitation of your own, you will understand my story. (e.g. “Don’t make me tell you again!”) All parents recognize this as a red flag, warning them that “little pitchers have big ears.”

But what happens when they grow up and write books based on the family, and you are forced to come face to face with the imperfect parent-in-training that you were?

If anyone were to evaluate our parish by the attendance at daily Mass, they might get the impression that ours was an “old timers’ religion.” It’s mostly a collection of gray heads with a few colors sprinkled in.

In my lifetime, I have witnessed that the biggest population change in our parish, however, is in committee members. This struck me most recently while attending our parish library committee meeting.

As we age, we try not to focus on all of the “unfinished” projects and all of the “unrealized” dreams we are leaving behind. When we have children, however, they just might finish some of those projects and achieve some of those dreams. If we are lucky, it may even happen in our lifetime.

My husband, Bob, dreamed of becoming a lawyer, but when the babies were in such a hurry to arrive, he had to give up that dream. Before he died, however, he had the thrill of seeing our grandson, Craig, graduate with honors from a top law school.

We were on our way to the airport, my daughter Kathi driving me, and I was sipping water from my new Thermos when I commented that it would be the first time for “alone travel” in many years, but with the wheel chair service provided by the airlines, it should be okay.

Kathi agreed that I should do well, what with my assertive personality and all. I wasn’t sure that was a compliment, but still . . . It’s true I’m no shrinking violet, and that might serve me well.

On March 20, in the early hours before dawn, with two of our faithful daughters at his side, my husband Bob entered into eternal life.

Within moments the remaining eight of us arrived at Countryside Home and joined our pastor, Father Jay, to offer a final prayer over a body that seemed chiseled out of marble. We were all enveloped in a spiritual embrace of peace that can only come after a long and difficult battle.

This Lent has brought about a big change in our parish. We have doubled the attendance at daily Mass, thanks to a change in school policy. For the first time in maybe 30 years, the top three grades of our Catholic school students are attending Mass every day during Lent.

We daily Massers (a.k.a. senior citizens) had become adjusted to spreading out in our cozy little chapel, reserving the big church for Sundays and Thursdays when the whole student body is in attendance.

Surprised at first, we were happy to move over a bit and welcome a few teachers and so many bright young faces, filling every seat in our chapel. Only one thing worried me. What about our Word and Communion Service?

In the past eight months our family has benefited from the dedicated services of hospice nurses, social workers, and chaplains.

That is in addition to the loving round-the-clock care my husband receives from a devoted staff at Countryside Home in Jefferson. Add that to the steady stream of visits from our 10 children, 19 grandchildren, and me, and you can see that Bob is one loved man.

I have recently received a most precious gift in the mail. It was sent by my niece, Lisa, who had just buried her father, Pete, my brother-in-law.

The moment I opened the outer box and saw the soiled, yellow-white box inside, I knew what it was: my mother’s photo album. Pictures from the first half of the 20th century!