I grew up with clear notions of what kind of “old lady” I wanted to be.
I would have a pleasant relationship with my grandchildren and not always be criticizing them for wearing nail polish. I wouldn’t complain all the time about my arthritis and ulcers and tell them they didn’t need all that education because they “were just going to get married anyway.” I would keep up with the times.
Okay, so now I’m there. I’m an old lady, and I love all 19 of my grandchildren and thrill over their every achievement and pray over their every problem. I try to be upbeat about the changes in our world; I use microwaves, computers, and cell phones, so I do try to keep up.
But permit me to complain about a few modern things that really amuse, annoy, or worry me.
The stuff that amuses
In the “amuse” category, I would place fashions. When I was a kid, Shirley Temple reigned supreme and so little girls with bouncy curls and short fluffy skirts were adorable, and ladies in mid-calf dresses were lovely.
Today I find it puzzling that little three-year-olds are considered cute in their mid-calf dresses, and women are wearing skirts so short I hold my breath every time they go to sit down on the talk shows.
Also in the amuse category are the singers. In my day we had crooners and warblers who sang catchy tunes, with haunting melodies and lyrics you could understand. They were tender, loving words like “I’ll be loving you always . . .” and “Miss you since you went away, dear.” The singers tenderly held the mics and crooned into them.
Today’s singers, by contrast, grab the mics, toss them back and forth between their hands, and shout angrily into them and stomp across the stage in a fury. For a while it bothered me that I couldn’t understand the words. Then I had captions put on my screen and I’m sorry to say they aren’t worth reading. Poetry they are not.
Getting annoyed
In the “annoy” category plastic packaging is the winner. Every time I go to open up a new bottle with a plastic skin around the top, I take my life into my hands. I get out one weapon after another: the knife that won’t cut a ring through it, the scissors that grab it underneath, are all weapons that could sever an artery, so keep the phone handy to dial 911.
Or how about those vacuum packed things that are supposed to prevent shoplifting? They prevent opening by the owner who paid good money for them too.
And then there are the “childproof” medicine bottles that I have to save for my grandson to open because I can’t.
What is the world coming to?
In the “worry” category the speed of technology leads the list. I love that we can have instant access to world news and instant replay for watching a Packer game. I even love using my cell phone to reach any of my kids at almost any time.
What I worry about is the constant use of iPads and cell phones by the kids today. Texting continually among growing kids has to affect their oral and social skills, to say nothing of their writing skills.
I clip coupons, especially snagging the $1 off, since one of our stores offers doubling coupons twice a week. This week’s coupon section conveniently offered Valentines Day coupons for flowers and candy, but leading the pack was . . . guess what . . . condoms. As if it wasn’t bad enough when they bombarded us with Viagra commercials last fall. Now they offer a dollar off for condoms. That worries me. Sex is right up there with toothpaste and toilet paper, another common, everyday need. . . Pray!
“Grandmom” likes hearing from other senior citizens who enjoy aging at [email protected]