Those of us who struggle with anxiety can spot a fellow anxious soul a mile away. Chewed fingernails, nervous foot-tapping, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies are dead giveaways.
But a person’s eyes are what truly give it away.
Recognizing fear
As I sat in the airport on my way home from California, I noticed just such a person standing apart from the passengers waiting to board the plane. She was a spry woman in her 60s, furtively glancing at those around her, keeping her distance and pulling out hand sanitizer.
From her actions and her eyes, I could tell she was anxious, uncomfortable, and clearly wanted to get the flight over with. But she bore her suffering silently.
And she happened to sit right next to me on the plane.
Suffering silently
As she wiped down her tray with a bleach wipe and adjusted her neck pillow, I recognized myself in this woman so preoccupied with fear.
Because of this, compassion for her silent suffering flooded my heart and I instinctively knew it would not be helpful for me to try to strike up a conversation with her at that moment.
Instead, as the plane took off, I pulled out my Rosary and quietly prayed for her. She never knew that I, a complete stranger, understood without any spoken words that she struggled with fear.
I could see it in her eyes.
At the end of the flight, we got off the plane and she stopped me for a moment.
“Thank you for making the flight easier for me,” she said, explaining that she hates flying but her children are scattered across the country. She was currently on her way to visit her son in Boston.
“I knew God had me sit next to you for a reason,” she said. “I was very comforted when I saw you pull out your Rosary.”
Ultimate example
As I’d suspected, here was a soul who — moving forward despite deeply held fear — understood silent sacrifices for the good of others.
It’s what mothers do best. Who better, then, can intercede for us than our very own beautiful Blessed Mother, who is the ultimate example of silent suffering?
Advent sacrifices
This Advent, as I contemplate ways to prepare my heart for Our Lord to rest there, I will continue to ask Our Blessed Mother to help me obtain the grace to suffer sacrifices silently for the good of others.
Maybe that means biting my tongue or stopping an uncharitable thought.
Maybe it means swallowing a sigh or changing 20 diapers or showing kindness to a neighbor when I am exhausted.
Maybe it means praying for the souls in Purgatory or spending an hour with Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.
Maybe it means collecting food for the poor or enduring physical ailments or offering a listening ear to someone having a difficult time.
Maybe it means smiling at my family at the end of a long day.
Whatever the silent sacrifices look like for you this Advent, know that they are ways Our Lord is asking you to grow closer to Him.
A place for Our Lord
Whether or not other people recognize your silent sacrifices doesn’t matter.
But Our Lord knows. Our Blessed Mother knows.
They can see it in your eyes.
And they can see the love that accompanies your silent suffering, a love that ultimately carves out the resting place for Our Lord in your heart.
Julianne Nornberg, mother of four children, is a teacher’s aide at St. John the Baptist Catholic School in Waunakee.