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| Ask IPS |
Question: “I’m currently going through a separation with my spouse and I’m concerned about my children. How could the separation affect them?”
Response: William McKenna, M.S., Clinical Extern at the IPS Center for Psychological Services
Tag: spouse
Hundreds attend chastity talk on the UW-Madison campus
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| Internationally-known chastity speaker and author Jason Evert speaks to a packed hall of more than 300 students on the UW-Madison campus for his talk “Save Your Marriage Before Meeting Your Spouse.” The event was presented by student group Badger Catholic. (Catholic Herald photo/Kevin Wondrash) |
MADISON — On Thursday, Feb. 6, the University of Wisconsin Badgers men’s hockey team defeated number one ranked Minnesota 2 to 1 before almost 9,000 fans at the Kohl Center.
While Bucky was defending the home ice against Goldy, less than one half mile away at UW-Madison’s Gordon Dining and Event Center, more than 300 college students packed the building’s “Concerto Room” to hear about chastity.
Internationally known speaker Jason Evert was on hand to give his talk, “Save Your Marriage Before Meeting Your Spouse.”
Evert and his wife, Crystalina, have spoken on six continents to more than one million people about the virtue of chastity. He and his wife are the authors of more than 10 books, including How to Find Your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul and Theology of the Body for Teens.
The event was presented by Badger Catholic, a student organization on the UW-Madison campus that seeks to inspire greater discussion about spirituality and faith in order to encourage students to better their lives and the lives of those around them.
A large crowd
As the event began, additional chairs had to be brought in, but it wasn’t enough to seat the overflow crowd, who either sat on the floor or stood against the walls.
Evert began his talk, acknowledging the large attendance. He said he was happy to see “standing room only of people skipping a hockey game to save your future marriage . . . this is a beautiful thing.”
Funerals: Not a time for remorse but celebration
When I was a kid back in the 30s and 40s, Grandma often came for a visit, always dressed in black, and usually it was a funeral that brought her to town.
I thought that was so weird. Did she enjoy funerals? Was that the only thing on her social calendar?
Well, guess what? I’ve arrived at that age when I open the paper first to the obituary page. First I check out to see if there’s someone I know. Then, I average the ages to see how I’m doing.
On a good day I’m younger than any of them. On a bad day I’m older. Too often, it seems, I find a friend has passed and I feel a stab of pain for the spouse and I want to express my sympathy and attend the funeral.
Final salvation at last
When I recently attended the funeral of my dear friend Betty, it occurred to me that funerals are really good for us seniors. They remind us of our own mortality, of course.
Nickels, dimes, and family size
A few years ago, I spoke with a young man preparing to get married. His aunt told him that she thought he and his fiancée were too financially-strapped to have a child, and that it wouldn’t be fair to bring up a baby in poverty. Keenly aware of his joblessness and his minuscule bank account, he concluded she was probably right.
The young man and his fiancée were ready to tie the knot in a few months and they expected that she would be at the infertile phase of her cycle around the time of their honeymoon, so they would be able to consummate the marriage while avoiding bringing a child into the world.
They agreed they would use Natural Family Planning (NFP) after that to avoid a pregnancy. A few years later when they felt financially secure, he told me, they would have their first child.
To give or not to give: The marital question
In a recent column, David O’Brien, the associate director of religious education for lay ministry in the Archdiocese of Mobile, Ala., recounts the story of Agnes and Jake, devout Catholics who conceived and delivered four children during the first five years of their marriage.
Agnes described how Jake, “wanted to be a good father and husband, and he couldn’t see how that could happen if we continued to have more children. In short, he was getting a vasectomy.”
Spouse no longer open to life
Agnes had a strong Catholic formation, and understood that married couples should not engage in sexual acts that have been intentionally blocked or “rendered infecund.” She struggled with Jake’s new stance, and dug her heels in.
She wondered how she could possibly be an authentic witness to the Gospel “if within my marriage, I was no longer open to life? How could I minister to other women and encourage them to be bold in their faith if I wasn’t living it myself? And what do I teach my children about marriage and sex when their father and I weren’t aligned?”
Widows contribute much to the Church and family
Losing a beloved spouse to death is one of the most painful human experiences. I saw this pain in my mother, two sisters, and other married women when their spouses died. I have also listened to men, whose wives died, pour out their grief.
The word “widow” comes from a Sanskrit word meaning empty. When a woman loses the husband whom she loves, she often experiences pain, emptiness, and even temporary anger. So does a widower. A good marriage joins the couple as two in one flesh, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. To marry is to open oneself to love and joy, but also to pain.
Natural Family Planning and the telos of sex
Married Catholics today often struggle to understand the moral difference between using contraceptives to avoid a pregnancy and using Natural Family Planning (NFP).
NFP relies on sexual abstinence during fertile periods in a woman’s cycle, as assessed by various indicators like cervical mucus or changes in body temperature.
NFP and the Catholic Church
To many, the Church’s prohibition of contraception seems to be at odds with its acceptance of NFP because in both cases, the couple’s intention is to avoid children. That intention, however, is not the problem, as long as there are, in the words of Pope Paul VI, “serious motives to space out births.”
Marriage enrichment opportunities offered
Upcoming marriage enrichment opportunities in the Madison area: