In recent weeks, including this one, the Catholic Herald has had special sections on both weddings and marriage and vocations.
If you’re not a priest, Religious, spouse, or on a path to any of them, these topics can be a little frustrating.
No matter what one’s age is, there is always the call to live out God’s will. There is always a call to live out God’s will through a specific vocation.
Whether one is in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on, there never seems to be a good time to be “single”.
The great unattached hear many of the same statements over and over.
“Don’t you want to be married?”
“Have you ever tried to meet someone?”
“Since you don’t have anyone, maybe you should be a priest.”
“You’re single. You like to pray. You’d make a good Nun.”
“Why haven’t you decided what you want to do with your life yet?”
And, of course . . . “You’re not getting any younger.”
If you’re tired of hearing these things, I’m sorry.
If you’re guilty of saying these things, stop it.
God’s will, not yours
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “We must also remember the great number of single persons who, because of the particular circumstances in which they have to live — often not of their choosing — are especially close to Jesus’ heart and therefore deserve the special affection and active solicitude of the Church, especially of pastors.” (1658)
Our single brothers and sisters are very good and decent people, many of whom have discerned marriage, priesthood, or Religious Life, and due to life being life, it didn’t quite work out or it didn’t work out yet.
Be patient with them as they are trying to be patient with themselves.
While it’s good to accept one’s current state in life, one must also be open to God’s will.
I know if someone “waits” too long, there are some age restrictions that come into play, especially in Religious Orders and the priesthood to an extent. One doesn’t want to “settle” on singlehood too early, but one does have to make the best of what God has given them.
If you had your life vocationally together in your 20s or by the time you were 30, congratulations on your blessings.
Some people weren’t blessed in that way.
God’s time, not yours.
God’s time, not theirs.
Have faith
For the struggling singles out there, be not afraid.
Obviously, I know it’s easy for me to sit here and talk like an expert, but the first thing you can try to focus on is that God loves you and God has not abandoned you.
I can’t guarantee it, but I’d hope and pray that something great will come to your life in the future as long as you keep God in the center.
How many times have we seemed stuck in a rut in our lives, and then the floodgates opened, and we couldn’t keep count of all the good things happening to us?
I can also tell you anecdotally about a lot of people who thought they had their vocations figured out with 100 percent certainly, God and/or life said no, they went through a period of frustration, and something better came along.
I can’t guarantee anything, but this stuff happens. God always knows the bigger picture, bigger than we usually can come up with on our own.
God loves us all
If you get nothing else out of this, it’s that if someone is 25, 35, 45, or some other age, and they are “single” in the eyes of the Church, you don’t have to assume there is something “wrong” with them or they messed up in their lives somewhere.
Maybe they are exactly where God wants them and exactly where they need to be to set the world on fire.
We live in a fallen world, and we can only work with what we’ve got sometimes and pray a lot about it.
The debate will go on for years whether “singlehood” is a real vocation or not, but for some people, it’s the best they can do.
God loves them as much as he loves you.