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Sometimes God must drive us to our knees before we look up to Him, helpless as small children.
It was several days since the worldwide coronavirus pandemic had been announced.
Schools had closed and we were dutifully isolating our whole family in our home.
Dealing with fear
Slowly fear crept in for our vulnerable loved ones as we read about the daily news of the spreading virus.And then two of our children came down with fevers and coughs.
Was it the coronavirus? Or the flu? Or just a bad cold? The nurse at our doctor’s office said to call back if the fever lasted three days.
So, we waited. And measured temperatures. And offered humidifiers and chicken broth. And cleaned doorknobs and counters and light switches and faucet handles. And I, with my phobia of all illness, struggled (and failed) to keep the beast of overwhelming fear at bay.
That’s when I experienced the painful realization of what it means to give everything to God.
It doesn’t mean, “Here you go, God, please make sure it all turns out the way I want it.” It means, “Here you go, God. Your will be done. Please give me the grace to accept it.”
When you truly realize that you have no control, it can be a painful yet liberating experience.
Painful because my lifelong perception of being in control was a farce.
Liberating because God can bring you the grace of peaceful acceptance.
Practicing fasting
This Lent, being in quarantine has become an opportunity to practice fasting in so many ways: fasting from control, fasting from fear, fasting from countless distractions that have kept me from growing closer to God.
Everything is a reminder of this fasting: social distancing, the canceling of events, even the tightening of our belts while waiting for the delivery of our weekly groceries.
Now — with everything shut down — our family rhythm is different, simpler, more focused on the gifts of each moment and things that matter.
And when my children’s fevers broke after two days, there was such rejoicing . . . and such gratitude.
With such a grateful heart now — as we establish a “new normal” of homeschooling and working from home during this pandemic — I watch my children swing on the swings in the backyard, I enjoy the games they make up, I look forward to our simple walks, I cherish their smiles and laughter even amid the uncertainty of the world.
Growing in new ways
In this unprecedented time during which we can only attend Mass online, God is asking me to grow in ways I never thought I could.
He is clearly asking me to give up my control, to shed my fear, to cling to nothing of this world but only to Him.
He is asking me to appreciate my family, to be grateful for each moment, to live fully each day He has given us, to care for the elderly and the vulnerable, and to hold onto the hope that only He, the conqueror of death, can provide.
“And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).
Driven to our knees in these dark times, as we look to Our Father as His small children, let us never forget His promise.
Easter is on the horizon.
Julianne Nornberg, mother of four young children, is a member of St. John the Baptist Parish, Waunakee.