On a camping trip up north earlier this summer, I was cooking pancakes over the fire my husband built for our family of six.
After pouring the syrup, I discovered we had miscounted forks for the trip, so I shrugged and pulled out spoons instead, figuring any utensil was better than none at all.
Our children know that “making do” with what we have is just part of camping.
But then we heard:
“WHAT? How come he gets a fork?”
Having found a hidden fork, my youngest son sat happily munching his pancakes with ease. His brother, however, stared incredulously at his own now comparatively cumbersome spoon.
My husband and I just looked at each other and laughed. Considering the sticky pancakes, who could blame our son for being a little envious of something as basic as a proper utensil?
Getting over his initial incredulity, our oldest son just clutched his spoon and dug in.
Besides, his pancakes were getting cold.
Dealing with unfairness
Life is unfair. It’s an unchanging truth, a lesson learned early in childhood at the material level, a lesson learned later in life at the interior level.
As we grow in each case, how we learn to deal with the unfairness is what matters. The maturity of our reactions in these life situations reveals the continual development of our character.
What do we do when we learn of “unfairness” at the spiritual level?
I sometimes envy those who seem abundantly blessed with certain virtues I pray for: patience and a deep sense of peace, for example.
At these times, interiorly I can dwell on my own shortcomings and conclude that these are gifts God seems to have bestowed on certain people, gifts I cannot seem to grasp easily.
“WHAT? How come she gets that?” my soul cries then, envying what seems to me a necessity.
If we all were blessed with similar levels of virtue, there would be no issue. We’d all be equipped with the same tools, with no “unfair” advantages.
But God loves variety — and this “unfairness” gives us an opportunity not only to learn from each other in humility but more importantly how fully we must depend on God for absolutely everything, including accepting our own shortcomings and praying in earnest for the virtues we feel that we lack.
Make do with what we have
At the same time, I can ask myself: If I lack this particular virtue, with which gift has God blessed me? And what good can I do with it? Making do with what we have is indeed a skill we learn not only in camping as children, but also in our spiritual lives as adults.
And, with the light of grace, we can ask God to help us make do with our own “spoon,” however cumbersome it seems in comparison to someone else’s more useful “fork.”
Julianne Nornberg, mother of four children, is a member of St. John the Baptist Parish, Waunakee.