Signs of mutual love and respect were on display at St. Francis Xavier Church in Cross Plains — part of Holy Cross Pastorate — on August 25, when a noticeable number of husbands escorted their wives to the church’s entrance.
In response, a noticeable number of wives helped their husbands pin a nametag to their shirt or lapel.
These small demonstrations of love were all a part of the Diocese of Madison’s annual Wedding Anniversary Mass, which was celebrated by Bishop Donald J. Hying of Madison.
To celebrate their vocational milestones, more than three hundred husbands, wives, children, and grandchildren traveled from around the diocese to Cross Plains that warm and sunny Sunday afternoon.
Couples and families were welcomed by the Diocese of Madison Office of Marriage and Family, part of the Office of Evangelization and Catechesis, for Mass.
‘1,000 years together’
In his homily, Bishop Hying first thanked the attendees for the “gifts you have poured into your marriages,” which included “marriages that have flourished for 70 years, 60 years, 50 years, 40 years, 25 years, 10 years — if we added up all your years of marriage, it would be 1,000s of years of marriage,” the bishop said.
Continuing, “Maybe you’ve felt sometimes like you’ve lived 1,000 years together,” he joked, cracking up the old and young in the congregation.
But, a little more seriously, the bishop pivoted to “an interpretive key to understanding the Scriptures,” which he explained as “through the lens of marriage”.
He said, “The Bible begins with a marriage in the book of Genesis, when God puts Adam and Eve in the garden, in this beautiful complementarity.
“Before the Original Sin, we see God’s intention for the human race, that man and woman are united in love of God and of one another.
“There’s no sin, there’s nothing to overcome, there’s no conflict, there’s no struggle. Life is simply as it should be.
“Of course, we know how the story ends, that man and woman sin and are driven from the Garden, and yet God does not give up on the human race.
“And so, in the establishment of the covenant with the Jewish people of the Old Testament, time and again, the prophets use the image of marriage the help the people understand how God loves them, how God relates to them, that this covenant between God and the people is a marriage, and that God will always be faithful,” the bishop said.
The bishop also spoke about that Sunday’s second reading from Ephesians, which he described as “Paul’s beautiful articulation of the Christian understanding of marriage”.
He said that “In our modern understanding, we can get caught up by the line, ‘Wives be submissive to your husbands’.”
But, encouraged the bishop, “If you look at the broader context for that reading, Paul begins by saying to both husbands and wives, ‘Submit to one another out of reverence’.
“Lay down your life for one another, don’t count the crosses, don’t put yourself first, don’t be stingy. Lay down your life for each other, as Christ has laid His life down for us.
“And so, if both of us are busy doing that, then there is no rivalry, there is no conflict, there is no one being superior to the other, but rather a mutual submission to the Lord,” Bishop Hying said.
In the conclusion of his homily, the bishop said that the celebratory Mass “is just a brief, modest way for the Church, in the name of the bishop, to say a profound ‘Thank you’ for your fidelity, your generosity, your love for the Lord and for each other, for bringing children into the world, for bringing life and joy and peace, for all the work and sacrifice that you have given, knowing that it’s what we give away that eternally endures, it’s what we offer in love to the other that remains forever”.
It’s ‘worth it’
At the celebration, a full range of anniversaries were on display, from couples celebrating their first year of marriage to couples celebrating many, many decades together.
One couple, Amy and Jim Wollangk, were celebrating their 31st year of marriage.
The Wollangks are parishioners at St. Ann Church in Stoughton — part of St. Cletus Pastorate — and are entering a new phase of life.
Now that that their two children, 25 and 20, are mostly on their own, the Wollangks said that they’ve been “brought back to just the two of us again,” which “took a little bit, because we were really independent,” Jim explained.
Although the two had always been active in the Church, participating in prayer groups, Knights of Columbus, and Boy Scouts, “We weren’t doing it together,” he continued.
But that changed after attending a Worldwide Marriage Encounter retreat.
The retreats aren’t for struggling marriages, they said, but for “good marriages to be made better,” and from that retreat, they’ve “drawn so much information and support” from other attending couples.
Since that retreat in 2007, they’ve met monthly with a support group of couples, set up after the weekend.
Being a part of that community, they’ve realized that “Everybody’s in the same boat at one point or another in their life,” and that, although it can be hard, “You’ll make it.”
For the Wollangks, they “do a lot more together” now, and offered a word of encouragement about marriage, saying, “It’s so worth it.”
Another couple, Natalie and Matthew Hugill were married in July of 2023.
The two are parishioners at St. Ignatius Church in Mount Horeb — part of St. Francis of Assisi Pastorate — and said that “compromise” was important in their first year of marriage.
Because they dated for seven years, they didn’t expect living together “was going to be such a large adjustment,” and they admitted that the first couple months were about “making compromises and moving forward, and then, also practicing better communication, forgiveness, and working through things”.
They said that “putting each other above our own desires” was what helped them through some of those initial hurdles, and they were happy to share that their parents and grandparents are role models they want to emulate in their marriage.
Another couple, Cathy and Chuck Garfoot were celebrating their 67th year of marriage.
The two, parishioners at St. Bernard Church in Middleton — part of Holy Cross Pastorate — have three children, four grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren, and they’ve been delighted that their children have kept the Faith.
They said that over the years, “We kept the communication; that’s the main thing in marriage, communicating with each other and doing things together.”
“We have a lot of family gatherings,” they added, saying that “We can’t always do it anymore, but the kids take over,” and they are thankful that the family has stayed together.
After the Mass, couples met Bishop Hying for photos and enjoyed coffee and cupcakes in the St. Francis Xavier Parish Hall.