Q. My mother made the decision to move to an assisted living facility.
The challenges of keeping up her home while attending to her own health have caused far too much stress for her.
She made the decision on her own and shared this with the family at a recent gathering.
Although we (siblings) are saddened to see mom move out of our family home, we are simultaneously relieved that hopefully life will be easier for her. We have started touring various facilities and find them to be very different.
We are looking at Community Based Residential Facilities (CBRFs) and adult family homes.
I find the differences confusing. I don’t know how they are licensed or regulated, or what you get for your monthly fee.
What are some of the things we need to look at when choosing a facility? And what is better: adult family homes or CBRFs? (From a daughter in Janesville)
A. Your mother sounds like a very strong and realistic person.
Far too often, families struggle with just the opposite, how to suggest to a parent that they need more assistance and should consider other living options.
Your mother did that on her own. So now the decision becomes where do you look, and what would work best for her?
I agree that determining what would be best for her can be confusing.
Basically, all CBRFs and adult family homes are assisted living facilities. The main difference is in size of the facility.
Adult family homes are smaller — providing assistance to no more than four adults who are not related to the operator. CBRFs can be much larger, with some resembling apartment complexes.
Assisted living facilities are licensed by the state and must provide personalized supportive services based on the individual’s need for assistance.
Cost can also be a determining factor as there can be large differences in fee structures and monthly rates.
It is a good idea to compare basic costs and then factor in additional fees based on added services. Keep in mind that these services are not covered by Medicare, so most payments are from personal resources.
Visit several facilities
My suggestions would be to visit several facilities and compare them.
Some facilities offer rooms, while others offer more apartment-like settings. It is important for your mother to know her preferences and level of comfort with shared spaces.
Beyond comparing the physical structure, ease of access, location, and aesthetics, pay attention to the staff.
Do they appear happy and genuinely interested in the residents? Do you see interaction between staff and residents? Does there appear to be enough staff to meet the needs of the residents? Are individuals treated with respect and dignity?
Useful guide
The State of Wisconsin has developed a very useful guide to assist those searching for assisted living options.
It offers information on regulations and licensing as well as a list of questions to ask when visiting different facilities. It is available to download and print at www.dhs.Wisconsin.gov/publications/p6/p60579.pdf
This is a transitioning period for the entire family, not just your mother.
I urge you all to stay connected and keep communications flowing so that in the end, your mother will be in the best possible place for her to live happily and healthfully.
My best to all of you!
Jean Mueller has been a registered nurse for over 30 years. Her experience includes working in home care settings, skilled nursing care, and training individuals to become certified nursing assistants. For the past 13 years, she has worked in the Aging Services department of the Madison Diocese Catholic Charities.