“Ow! You twisted my arm!” my son complained to his sister.
Tag: relationships
Concerns about parent’s financial status
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Q Our family is very small, just my brother and me. “Roger” is younger and always seemed to have trouble keeping a job. The result is he has lived at home all of his life. He is in his 40s.
My concern is that he is heavily dependent on my mom — dad died a few years ago. Mom is 73 years old and has the means to support him for now, but her health is changing, and I am worried that she will not have enough to provide for her own needs because she always puts his needs first.
He recently accompanied her to the bank and had his name placed on her checks so he can write checks for her. He stated it was to make it easier for mom. I think he is going to help himself to her money. Mom seems to trust that he will be responsible.
Is this financial abuse? And, what are the options to change this?
(From a son in Sauk City)
A This is a great question about a very difficult situation.
Finding the one . . . just ‘let it go’
One of my rituals I always look forward to is girl’s night out. A group of four of us have been meeting for dinner about once a month for years now.
Over the years, two of us have gotten married and had kids, one member of our group has been in a steady relationship for a year, and one friend is currently single. We love each other like sisters and look forward to this evening with great anticipation.
After we finished dinner and had dessert served, my single girlfriend blurted out, “I don’t think God is listening to my prayers.” I immediately dropped my fork, forsaking my tiramisu. She continued with a heavy heart, “I’ve been praying and praying. I volunteer, pray for others, go to mass, everything,” exasperation entered her voice, “but I’m still single and can’t seem to meet the right person to share my life with. I just don’t know what to do anymore, and I’m afraid I’m losing my faith in my prayers.”
The best time to discuss faith in new relationships
It was a typical Saturday morning when I heard the phone ringing. Upon picking up, one of my closest friends began squealing, “It was the perfect first date!” I then spent the next hour listening to every magical detail of my friend’s date the previous night.
She met this lovely gentleman at a charity gala and they enjoyed each other’s company. He asked her out to dinner and apparently the night was a huge success. They both laughed at the same jokes, loved the same movies, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.
As I was listening to this very excited description — with the underlying hope that a new relationship was blossoming — only one thought came to mind. Finally I asked, “What about faith? Is he also Catholic? Did you ask?” My dear friend’s response left me a little sad, “No I didn’t ask. I just felt it was too soon.”
Following the recipe for a good life
During the holidays I love hearing from old friends, voices from my past; Charlotte, a “mother’s helper” who lived with us for her senior year of high school and now has grandchildren of her own; Tom and Betty, who taught with Bob in the ’50’s and shared our laughter and tears.
They were the short term relationships, the layers of love that add flavor and richness to our lives. The long term relationships were the foundation.
I thought of the analogy as I was making my seven layer taco dip for a New Year’s Eve party.
Support groups discontinued
Two support groups for those experiencing separation, divorce, or loss of relationships have been discontinued due to low attendance.