During the recent Thanksgiving weekend, you may have felt it. During Christmas to come, you might feel it too.
Whether you want to call it “good times,” “dejà vu,” “happy memories,” “boring family time,” or “we did this last year,” you’re still feeling it.
You’re feeling that sense of the familiar. You’re feeling that sense of “this is what we do on this day . . . it’s just what we do”.
Everyone has different holiday traditions. They could be the same relatives you go to on a particular day. They could be making the same favorite dishes or desserts the night before. They could be playing the same games.
They could be getting into the same arguments and disagreements. They could be being asked the same questions every year and having to give the same canned answers every time to either make everyone happy or avoid follow-up questions.
Whatever your traditions are, they are what make your time during these holidays unique and your own.
For better or for worse, make note of the fact that they will not last forever.
Things change
It’s easy to feel a sense of comfort and joy over our holiday traditions.
They are familiar to us. We like them. We look forward to them. They are our way of celebrating the great feasts upon us.
A fact of life looms over us, however, that we won’t do the same things every year over and over again.
Eventually, something is going to be different.
Relatives may move. Friends may drift away. Family members may hold grudges and cease to communicate. Even food we’re used to having on these special days may be discontinued, thus taking a vital part of these days away from us.
It’s easy to lament these changes, especially if we’ve been looking forward to what was good, normal, and happy for some time.
There are two things we can do.
One is to accept it. This isn’t the easy one. This one can kind of hurt. I’m not suggesting anyone masters this one on the first try, but it’s a step.
More importantly, the other thing we can do is take a moment to pause, and when we get another year of our great holiday traditions, let’s be thankful, embrace them, and make the most out of them.
You don’t want to be morbid or melancholy about it, but ask yourself, what if this is the last time?
What if this is the last time we play this game together? What if this is the last time we’re at this house for this holiday? What if this is the last time we eat this dish together? What if this is the last time I actually get this day off to celebrate? What if this is the last time I see this friend or family member alive?
Find what really matters
In everything you do to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Boxing Day, etc., try to find a common theme that these annual days have had in common from year-to-year.
Say to yourself “As long as _______________ happens [insert holiday here], it’s [said holiday].”
I wouldn’t be doing my duty if I didn’t point out that Mass is usually always celebrated on Thanksgiving and obviously always on Christmas. You may go to different churches at different times of the day, but you can always go to Mass on these days. That doesn’t change.
Find those few precious things that don’t and cannot change from year to year and hold onto them. Also, recognize the things that could change from year to year and embrace them as long as you can, knowing how fleeting and delicate they can be.
Celebrate the fact that you were able to experience them.
Thank you for reading.
I’m praying for you.