Do I trust the Lord? I mean, do I truly trust Him? I’ve always believed in Him, at least theoretically.
I believe that God created the universe, that Jesus is the Incarnate Son of the Father, and that the only hope of salvation is through Him. I believe all that Christianity teaches, but I’ve never had much at stake in my beliefs.
What if believing in Christ became costly? Would I trust Him then? What if I had to put my career, friendships, and future on the line to follow Him? Would I still have faith?
These were some of the questions on my mind several years ago when I found myself at a major crossroads.
I had been serving as an evangelical pastor for 20 years.
I loved Jesus, my church, and my job. I had great friendships, influence in our community, and job security, but I had two big problems.
First, I was growing weary in ministry. The previous years had been emotionally and spiritually depleting.
My family had experienced personal tragedy. I had been navigating all the complexity and divisions of being a pastor through COVID-19.
I was continuing to manage staff changes, interpersonal conflicts, and congregational pressures that come with the job, and it was beginning to take its toll on me.
There was one other tiny problem: I was a long-term Protestant pastor who was increasingly convinced of the truth of Catholicism.
Was I crazy? We had a good life. Our children were thriving and happy. We had a beautiful home and deep roots in our community. We had everything we needed and most things we desired, and it seemed foolish to risk upending our lives because I had read too many Catholic books.
I often joke with my wife that buying a sports car would have been a much simpler mid-life crisis.
After months of prayer and spiritual counsel, I turned in my letter of resignation to my congregation, not knowing what was next.
I’d like to say that I was strong in my faith and confident that the Lord would provide for my family, but honestly, I was riddled with anxiety.
I didn’t know what I was going to do for work. I worried that I was going to hurt my wife and children and not be able to provide what they needed. I feared that leaving my ministry and converting to Catholicism would confuse, hurt, and alienate many people whom I loved.
Could I really trust the Lord with so much at stake?
The short answer is “yes”. Our Lord is faithful. The past few years have been quite an adventure. It has not been easy, but God has been good, and our faith has grown exponentially.
I can’t share all that has happened, but I will briefly explain how I recently became the associate director of marriage and family ministries with the Diocese of Madison.
Six months ago, I was between careers, working numerous side jobs, and trying to make ends meet while looking for long-term employment.
I was driving across the Midwest for a job when my car broke down in the middle of Wisconsin. I was underemployed, stranded, and facing costly repairs to my vehicle.
My life was beginning to sound like a bad country song, but then I met a young Catholic man at the repair shop.
He invited me over to his house for dinner. His wife knew some people who worked for the Diocese of Madison.
The director of evangelization and catechesis called me in January.
After multiple interviews and conversations, my family moved to Madison, all because my car “happened” to break down in the middle of Wisconsin.
Can I truly trust our Lord? I think I can.
I am excited to be here and to serve alongside you as we join together in our common mission of making disciples.
Most of us feel inadequate when it comes to evangelization.
We don’t think we are good enough or know enough to be effective in speaking about our faith or convincing others of the truth of the Gospel.
The good news is that none of us is good enough or smart enough.
Our Lord just asks us to have faith and be faithful.
Only He can convert a person’s soul. He simply invites us to take the risk of lovingly reaching out to those who are lost, to consistently pray for them, and to trust that the Lord will use our humble and simple efforts.
He is good and will do the work. We can trust Him.
Tristan Borland is the associate director of marriage and family ministries for the Diocese of Madison.