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What you are about to read is incredibly opinionated and not to be taken as absolute truth. What you are about to read is no more than knee-jerk impromptu advice to a decent amount of people “out there” who are seeking some advice.
If you, or anyone you know, is asking the question “What is my vocation?”, I have some advice for you.
You can take it or leave it. Most would argue you should leave it.
Asking questions
If you’re asking the question “What is my vocation?”, you’re probably in states of frustration, confusion, and more frustration.
You’ve probably “tried” many things: Prayer, fasting, almsgiving, discerning, retreats, reading books, listening to speakers, and meeting people, but you’re still no closer to any legit answers than you were before.
Go ahead, vent, scream, do whatever you need to do. You have my permission.
We’ll take a brief pause while you let it all out.
[BRIEF PAUSE]
Welcome back. It’s good to see you again.
Now that we’ve established you’re upset about this, and not for lack of trying, I’ll give you the unwanted “I’ve been there”. I have. I get it. I don’t know your exact situation, but I get it.
If you’re anything like me (I’m sorry), you’re always looking for a step one.
You know the end goal, you know where you want to go, you know how you want to feel, but you just can’t seem to get started.
Prayer is usually a good place to start. I highly recommend prayer, but I’m going to be a little nuanced and take things a step or two backward.
Wait, what’s the question again?
Well, the previous question of record was “What is my vocation?”.
If you cannot answer that, now you need to be asking a “How” question?
How about “How can I figure out what my vocation is?”
Hmmm, let’s go back even more.
“What is a vocation?”
Typically, we’re referring to the “states of life” so commonly talked about in the Church, e.g. marriage, priesthood, Religious Life, and . . . albeit a debatable one . . . the single life.
If it were up to you, you could probably easily pick one of those.
But, as you may have discovered, you can’t get married without a spouse, you can’t be a priest without a diocese or an Order, and you can’t be a man or woman Religious without an Order that will accept you.
This is where the debate over the single life comes into play, that most really don’t need to make a vow or a commitment to it, but that’s a topic for another time.
Oh, and a quick shout out to all the Consecrated Virgin women out there, I didn’t forget about you. You’re great examples of being Consecrated and single for the Lord. Thank you.
So, can I safely say we’ve established you cannot discern your vocation on your own?
Who else can help you? Priests? Yes. Vocations directors? Yes. Spiritual directors? Yes. Friends and family? To an extent, absolutely.
God? Ah yes, of course, the Almighty.
We really can’t do anything alone, we need God’s help. This is where prayer comes back. But I want to add one more thing. God can do His part if you ask Him (pray), but we always have to do our part, as well.
Here is where we get to the “advice” part of this.
If you’ve read all of this and didn’t skip to the “good part”. Thank you. 🙂
Finally, the advice
So, what is this important thing that we can do as we open ourselves up to communication with God over what our vocations are?
It’s so simple, you’ll wonder why you didn’t think of it before.
It’s really the easiest thing you can do and what God wants you to do every day.
Once you perfect this, things just might become a lot clearer.
(Can you imagine if I put the “advice” on a different page of the paper, or worse, made you come back next week?”)
Ok. I’ll stop adding to your frustrations.
My advice to you . . .
. . .
. . .
BE YOURSELF.
[BRIEF PAUSE FOR “WHAT?” “THAT’S IT?” I READ THIS WHOLE THING FOR THAT?!”]
Let me explain.
From the minute you were born, God gave you amazing gifts and talents. He wants you to share those with others and help them get to Heaven.
The more you know yourself and know what God has given you, the more you’ll know where God is leading you.
God’s Heavenly plan for all of us is to be our best selves.
The more you are “yourself,” the more comfortable you’ll be in this life and world. Not a comfort of laziness, but a comfort of joy.
You won’t pressure yourself into what you think you might be or want to be, you’ll fit into what you are.
If you step back from the mechanics of vocation discernment and focus more on your relationship with God and growing in holiness, you’ll just “know” what to do next.
Don’t worry about being late to anything in life, or getting old, or feeling lost in life, God has been with you the whole time.
There’s a whole world of vocations and discernment out there. A lot of the final destinations will not be ours, God knows where He wants us to go.
Sometimes discernment is more about the “no” versus the “yes”.
So yes to God and yourself and it’ll be easy to say yes to other things, including your vocational path.