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| Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan poses with “Little Dolan,” Dolan McGuire.(Submitted photo courtesy the McGuire family) |
MILWAUKEE — To the rest of the world, he’s the bishop selected by the pope to the most prominent position in the Catholic Church in the United States, the New York Archdiocese and its 2.5 million Catholics.
But to a Wauwatosa boy and his mother, he’s the man who fixed their bike chain and then invited them into his home for a glass of ice water, the man who gave him a baseball signed by home run king Hank Aaron, the man who dropped in and had a beer at his first Communion party and then gave him his second Communion the next day at the cathedral.
Compassion and concern
Perhaps more importantly, however, to 12-year-old Dolan McGuire and his mother, Denise, Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan is the pastor whose prayers and support have carried them through young Dolan’s 10 surgeries, and whose compassion and concern have shown them that God is there for them through their struggles.
“We’re nothing special, but the fact that he takes so much interest in us and our problems and challenges and that we can communicate with him — we really feel honored that he’s taken so much time for us,” said Dolan in an interview with the Milwaukee Catholic Herald at his home.
While their friendship, a result of their shared name, began in 2003 when Dolan was a first grader at St. Veronica School, Milwaukee, it’s one that has endured and flourished not because of the name but because of the archbishop’s pastoral outreach.
“I personally wouldn’t care if my name was Duckwaddles, I would still have the same bond as I do now,” said Dolan of the man whose name he shares. “The name has nothing to do with it really, it’s just the guy he is and it’s not a matter of a name, not at all.”
What’s in a name
Young Dolan’s name is a result of his father Daniel McGuire’s love of baseball and especially pitching great, Nolan Ryan. He and his former wife also wanted to give their child a name beginning with D, as their names did. Hence Nolan became Dolan.
The archbishop was scheduled to visit Dolan’s school in 2003 and word got out among the priests about a little boy with the same name, explained Denise.
The archbishop wanted to meet the youngster and it was arranged that he would present Archbishop Dolan with a bouquet of flowers during the school Mass.
But on the day of the Mass, Dolan was sick and, in fact, ended up in the hospital for three days with the flu.
Beginning of a friendship
Learning of the illness, the archbishop contacted him at the hospital, “the beginning of how Archbishop Dolan touched our lives,” according to Denise, explaining her family refers to them as “Big Dolan” and “Little Dolan.”
The following year, the McGuires invited the archbishop to Dolan’s first Communion — never expecting he’d come. Much to their surprise, the doorbell rang during their family party after the Communion and there stood the archbishop and his priest-secretary, Fr. Jerry Herda. They mingled with the guests and the archbishop gave Dolan a card and a prayer book.
The following day, they went to the cathedral for Mass and the archbishop called Dolan forward toward the end of Mass to congratulate him in front of the congregation.
Over the years, the phone calls, Easter and Christmas cards kept coming, and when Dolan needed surgery — he was born without an eyelid and has had other medical conditions including sleep apnea — the archbishop would either call or visit the hospital.
“We’d try to see him at the cathedral and if it would be a while since we’d see him at the schools, we’d go down there and if we hadn’t gone down there for a while, he’d call, ‘How are you?’ ‘What’s going on?’ ‘How’s the new school?’ ‘How’s Dolan?’ Or if I knew something was happening surgery-wise, if Dolan was having an operation, I would call,” explained Denise.
Dolan, now a seventh grader at St. Mary School, Elm Grove, had his most serious surgery in summer 2005. Just before the surgery, Denise and Dolan went to Mass at the cathedral and the archbishop blessed him with holy oils.
“That was really special and just to have that feeling inside you that even though he was undergoing general anesthetic, just to have that little piece of safeguard, it made me feel a little more secure,” said Denise.
Real-life incredible
After the surgery, Dolan was sitting in the hospital bed watching The Incredibles on television when he heard a booming voice of a “real-life incredible” coming down the hallway and into his room.
“He’s just a jolly guy who reminds me of Santa Claus without the beard,” said Dolan of his friendship with the archbishop. “He never really says anything serious to me, let’s put it that way. He says, ‘How are you doing?’ and wraps his arms around me and just gives me a big bear hug. Oh my gosh, it’s a really happy moment (whenever) I meet him.”
One of those meetings happened by chance when Denise and Dolan, then residents of Bay View, were riding their bikes through the seminary grounds. Dolan’s bike chain fell off and they were unsuccessfully trying to fix it. Familiar footsteps came up behind them. “Denise? Dolan?” asked the archbishop as he assessed the situation and then went off to get his tools.
After reassembling the chain, he invited them into his residence for a glass of ice water, and then sent them on their way.
Another time, the archbishop asked them to wait for him after Mass and he gave Dolan the baseball signed by Hank Aaron. The McGuires have saved all of the archbishop’s cards and letters, and even his phone messages are compiled on a tape.
Cherish what he’s taught them
But more than the material things he’s given them, they cherish the lessons he’s left.
Life has not been easy for Dolan due to his surgeries and sometimes unkind comments made to him by peers. As a single mother — Denise and Daniel separated when Dolan was 2 — she’s struggled without the support of a husband.
“I think his prayers have really helped us a lot,” said Denise. “(Dolan’s) received blue ribbons and medals from chess tournaments and forensics, he’s an outstanding student, for everything he’s been through, with the help and support of the archbishop, I think it’s really helped us.”
Sometimes she’s gotten angry and questioned God as they’ve struggled, admitted Denise.
“Why does this have to happen? I’m alone, I don’t have a husband here all the time . . . and it would be better and would be different if I had another partner, but we rely on family and prayers and when we see the archbishop, it just gives me that strength.”
Dolan added that the archbishop has taught him that humor is a great way to deal with challenges. “If something is wrong in your life, you can relieve it with humor,” he said. “I see that in him. He’s a naturally funny guy, but that doesn’t take away from his reverence. You can be funny and you can be serious at the same time. He has a perfect way of combining that.”
Likening the archbishop to “a big cuddly friend,” Dolan also said the archbishop has taught him the importance of supporting others. “You can do that for someone else, if you can provide a shoulder to lean on, that’s really going to make a big difference like he provided for us. I really admire how supportive he is,” he said, adding he’s also taught them to be optimistic.
Keeping in touch
Archbishop Dolan will remain in the McGuires’ prayers — “We pray for him every night,” said Dolan.
They hope their friendship will continue across the miles and they may see him in person as Dolan’s upcoming surgery may be scheduled with a New York doctor.
“Hopefully it won’t stop,” said Denise of the friendship, “but I’d certainly understand if he’s too busy.”
“It’s wonderful hearing from him, knowing he still cares about us,” said Dolan, adding, “Of course, I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who would stop caring.”