Colleen Towsend Evans, a Methodist minister, listened to a talk by Mother Teresa. She was so moved by her love that she wanted to give her a big hug.
Instead, she asked, “Mother, what can we do to help you? We can take up a collection, or send volunteers. How can we help you?”
Mother smiled and replied, “Love your family.”
The ‘School of Love’
The family has been called “The School of Love!” It is in the family where we learn to love by being loved. It’s where spouses learn to love by the sacrificial love they give to their spouse and children.
The Church teaches that marriage is a sacrament. In Matthew 19: 5-7 Jesus says, “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes married to his wife, and the two become one flesh. They are no longer two, therefore, but one flesh. So then, what God has united, human beings must not divide.”
In the Sacrament of Marriage, husband and wife’s love for each other and their children should be a sign of Christ’s love for his Church, a love that is permanent, unselfish, and passionate.
A sacramental marriage is between a Catholic man and woman who already have a relationship of love with Christ.
It can also be between a Catholic and a non-Catholic.The couple wants Christ to continue to be part of their life in their marriage. They recognize that marriage can offer challenges even if the couple loves each other and follow Jesus religiously.
They need to pray for the graces of marriage when the cold north wind of trouble begins to blow and the lamp of love dims low.
In numbers 1626-1627 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, it says “The Church holds that the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that makes the marriage. If there is no consent, there is no marriage. The consent consists of the human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other. It finds its fulfillment in the two becoming one flesh.”
The marriage vows are followed by the exchange of rings where the couple say to each other, “Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”
These words reflect the wedding vows the couple just made.
The late humorist Erma Bombeck wasn’t joking when she said, “For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation and often reminded my husband that it is time to go home. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.”
On February 14, 2014, on Valentine’s Day, Pope Francis said, “Today, many couples fear making a permanent commitment. This fear is cured through daily prayer. True love is more than just a feeling, but a relationship that grows like a house’s construction. Just as God’s love is stable and forever, so we would want the love that is the foundation of the family to be stable and forever. The art of living together in marriage can be summarized by saying sincerely, ‘Excuse me, thank you and I’m sorry!’ Courtesy conserves love! In our families, in our world, where there is much violence and arrogance, there is a greater need for courtesy.”
Examples of love
In numbers 1656 and 1657 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, it says that it is in the bosom of the family that parents are by word and example the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. It is in the family that the father of the family, the mother of the family, and children exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way by the reception of the sacraments, prayer, and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, self-denial, and active charity.
I am entertained by the free floorshow kids share at fast food restaurants and their energy. Maybe it is not free because it costs lots of parental energy.
At a discount store, I told the checkout girl that it must take lots of sacrifice to raise children. She smiled and then she said, “Yes it does, but they’re worth it!”
I once brought Communion to a man who had been disabled for 18 years. His wife heroically took care of him. She was appropriately named the “saint of Janesville’s west side”. Her Christ-like committed love moved me!
My favorite reflection of married love begins with the question, “Is anything more beautiful than young love?”
Someone answered, Yes there is! It is an old married couple finishing their life’s journey together. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped, their faces are wrinkled but still radiant, their hearts are physically tired but still strong with devotion for one another. Amen!
Fr. Donald Lange is a pastor emeritus in the Diocese of Madison.