Q My mother has Macular Degeneration and some other health conditions. She lives independently and has been able to manage her own affairs and care without my help.
On a recent visit I was shocked to learn just how limited her vision is. She admitted her vision has been slowly getting worse over the last few months.
The problem is she insists on driving. She says she only goes out in the day time and only drives before or after the rush hour. She also stays off busy streets.
This concerns me as I want her to be independent but I am worried that she is going to get into an accident that will injure her or someone else.
Is there an easy way to bring up this topic with her? What can I do to get her to stop driving?
(From a daughter in Jefferson)
A This is a great debate — when do we intervene with an older person’s ability to drive?
In Wisconsin the law requires us to renew our license in person every eight years. That leaves a lot of time for changes in an older person’s health and reaction time.
The best case scenario is when the older person voluntarily stops driving because he/she does not feel safe any longer.
The worst case scenario is having an accident that injures her or someone else, or when a friend or family member reports the driver to the Department of Transportation Medical Review Unit.
The report is called the Driver Condition or Behavior Report and it is used in cases where the individual has a medical condition that affects their ability to drive safely. The person’s age or diagnosis alone is not adequate for revoking a person’s license.
You may approach the topic with her by stating how worried you are about her safety as well as the safety of others.
It will help her tremendously if you have resources available for her to use to get to the grocery store, medical appointments, shopping, and errands.
To simply take the keys away will only cause resentment and isolation if no other choices are available.
If this does not feel like the right approach, you may go through her physician. Sometimes that is more acceptable to the person since it eliminates the family dynamics and is coming from a medical perspective rather then a personal opinion.
Any report is available to the reported driver so that person will be able to find out who reported him/her and why.
Perhaps you could accompany your mother on an outing when she is driving. That way, you can learn first hand how she handles the road.
If things aren’t that bad, she might benefit from one of the adult driving classes that are offered. AARP holds driver safety classes that help seniors refresh their skills and gives them tools to decrease their risk of accidents. Check with your local senior center, hospital, or the library to find a class near you.
This is a very difficult and emotional topic. Your concern is out of love for her and you want her to be safe. If your mother understands that is the motivation for the conversation, it might help her feel less threatened by the action.
Do you have a question? Questions for the “Ask Jean” column may be sent to Jean Mueller at [email protected]
Jean Mueller has been a registered nurse for over 30 years. Her experience includes working in home care settings, skilled nursing care, and training individuals to become certified nursing assistants. For the past 13 years she has worked in the Aging Services department of the Madison Diocese Catholic Charities.