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Q My siblings and I gave our mother the gift of in-home assistance for Christmas.
She lives just outside of Madison and the rest of us live in surrounding counties.
The idea was to provide some support because we can’t be there as much as we would like and mom does not ask us for help.
She was reluctant to accept it at first, but then agreed that she could use some help with certain things.
My mom is in her mid-80s and is still driving, but has mentioned that she feels nervous about driving in certain areas or at certain times of the day.
One of the things we want this assistance to provide is transportation, along with some housekeeping help and other small tasks that might arise.
My question is, now that she will accept the help, where do we begin to look for a reliable person? Is it better to work through an agency?
(From a son in Beloit)
A Your mother is very fortunate to have such a caring family! Your gift is not only thoughtful; it may prevent an accident or some other life altering event that would force her out of her home.
Finding assistance
Now the question is where to go to find the assistance.
There are several options. You asked about finding a self-employed caregiver versus using an agency.
I have known families who have had success with both.
Some families have had great success hiring someone they already know. This may be a family friend or a relative who has offered to assist.
Anyone providing assistance for your mother must be trustworthy and reliable. You, as the employer, should have access to background history and know that there are no criminal charges pending including access to their driving record.
It is for that reason that my over-all preference is to use a trustworthy agency.
They will have done the background checks and have vetted the person as thoroughly as possible.
The organization will also have trained the person and would be responsible for insuring that individual should an accident or injury occur.
In case of illness, an agency may be able to send someone in the place of the usual worker so there would be no disruption of service.
Healthy relationship
The most important element to keep in mind throughout this process is the relationship between your mother and the person providing assistance.
In order to achieve the best possible outcome, your mother must enjoy the helper’s company, meaning a good personality match. Your mother should feel completely safe with that person.
Initial procedures
When contacting companies, you should ask about enrollment procedures.
Does someone come out and meet with your mother and other family members? Can you easily get in touch with agency staff to communicate concerns or changes? Are emergency procedures established?
Quality driven organizations should have procedures established and be able to address any of your questions or concerns during an initial meeting.
To obtain a list of the organizations providing these kinds of services, contact the ADRC — Aging and Disability Resource Center in Dane County, 2865 N. Sherman Ave., Madison, 608-240-7404.
Jean Mueller has been a registered nurse for over 30 years. Her experience includes working in home care settings, skilled nursing care, and training individuals to become certified nursing assistants. For the past 13 years, she has worked in the Aging Services department of the Madison Diocese Catholic Charities.